Still struggling

I started writing this last Wednesday (nov 2) buts taken me a while…

I got a call from the obstetrician who we were seeing today.  There were no abnormalities with my d&c and the chromosomal analysis  was normal.  Just like all the others. Although this time the doctor did say that this didn’t mean there was a genetic abnormality, but that it wasn’t a a gross chromosomal level. So short of highly intensive genetic analysis (which may not be an available thing) we will continue to have no idea.

I don’t know where to go from here. We have seen the fertility specialist and we do have an IVF plan, for when we want.  We could go down the path of sperm donor as well.  We could stick with our own stuff but do emetic analysis. We could do nothing.

I don’t know.  

I don’t know if I can say I am depressed, but I am not functioning at a normal level either.

after that election, I am somewhat grateful I don’t have a child.  I am genuinely scared that we are headed for a global conflict, or at the very least problems that are going to get worse…

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