This is amusing.
This is amusing.
I have been slowly rereading the Harry Potter series over the past couple of months. I started before Christmas and only finished this weekend. This is in part because I read other books in between and around.
But it’s also because I slowed down on the last three. They were harder to read, knowing what is to come. Sadder too.
But it was nice to be able to read them in quick sequence, rather than over the years as they were released.
I enjoy rereading books- sometimes experience has given me new insights, sometimes my reading pace has shifted and I pick up new things, sometimes knowledge of what is to come makes the story different. But I know there are those who do not like to reread- my mum is one of those. There are very few books she will reread!
So J is coming to live with us for 6 months. Time of arrival uncertain. Consideration of whether this might be possible lacking. Very very stressed at the moment and trying to work out why.
1. Initial communication suggested this was a punishment/reaction to frustration. Don’t think J sees it as punishment, G gets to see his son. Only person who feels punished is me and I haven’t done anything.
2. The room J sleeps in is my study. His favourite hangout is the rocking chair I put on the balcony. All of the unhome djunk in the living room ends up on my seat on the sofa and a why are you so mad look on the face. I don’t have any quiet space to call my own and that just stresses me out (yep that would be the introversion)
3. No control over the timeframe or the visit. It’s whenever the ex feels overwhelmed. Which I would have more sympathy for if she asked for help before that point. This isn’t the first time she has done this.
He is 18. He has finished high school. He doesn’t have great survival skills. I feel very stuck at the moment- can’t say no, but don’t have any structure to manage the stress. My body has dropped into fight or flight mode. I can’t fight with the cause of the problem.
I took a bit of a break from blogging, and from reading blogs to some extent. A quiet week or so, with G sick and then the rain from a cyclone bucketing down.
I worked on my cross stitch.
It is quite small, just a little square.
I am not sure how I will finish it. Frame it in a square frame? I have never framed one myself- but I don’t want to pay lots of money to frame something so small. Or turn it into a tiny cushion?
We had our follow up appointment at the clinic today. Papers pulled from everywhere. He asked us what we were going to do- we said 6 months off and then see.
He said to keep looking for a donor- the results from my sister were not great, and with the drug dosage she was on, should have been better. We could try again with her, but different conditions. He also encouraged us to keep trying, and so I now have two sets of prescriptions for not-Clomid and for an injectable. No monitoring, just take on the right days and go in if I feel the need. Which was interesting. And weirdly reinforcing one of my suspicions- I feel like my reproductive organs have white coat syndrome- they curl up and hide in a medical environment.
And like my suspicion that exercise helps me get pregnant, then I stop due to pregnancy, and I have more issues, it is interesting to have it reinforced. With the exercise, I think it may be a blood flow thing, and I will try to be more active if there is a next time.
So anyway, what I need to do to get and stay pregnant is be active and not go to the doctor. Ha, since all attempts so far have required early medical visits.
This evening I tidied my jewellery area. I have a lot, not much precious stones etc, more of the quirky and costume jewellery. And it was all tangled and mishmash. But not anymore.
I had my blood test today. This is the first time I have gone to a post ivf blood test and not already bleeding. So more possible than usual. But I had the feeling it was going to be negative and I was right.
We just can’t catch a break on this.
A quiet weekend, of sorts. Lots of resting and a lot of stitching.
I have been working on this small cross stitch from NZ. I bought it in Christchurch on our wedding trip- I had been eyeing up a completed version in another shop for a long time. I don’t think the shop I bought it from still stands- it was in the artist old buildings in an area that apparently had a lot of problems in the earthquake. The business is still going ( as far as I am aware) but the cute little shop-no.
This is a couple of weeks ago.
Progress ( and taken from the other orientation, can’t work out how to flip it)
And this was at some point this weekend.
And now, where I am at this moment, can you see the pattern?
I made a resolution that I would try to finish five existing projects before I bought new supplies. This is project 1. And we are going to a craft store reopening next Friday!